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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

In 2008, I'll Get Me A Shotgun

I will also:
2. Get closer to
Job hunt some more.
4. Get closer to my
5. Learn a new language.
Finish at least one screenplay.
Lose the extra weight.
8. Get a
driver's license. I will not buy a car.
9. I will
rule my world.
10. I will have my

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Dear Diary : Day 1

They should change our uniforms. Orange jumpsuits would seem more appropriate, I'd say. These suits, the ties, the clean white shirts, the businessman handshakes... they don't really fool anybody anymore. They know us for what we are. They know that once it goes down, we'll be the first to run.

I keep preaching about how regret is pointless, about how one should look ahead and move on. It only pulls you back, I'll say. I'm such a bad liar. The first thing I do every morning as I get out of bed is regret. I regret not going to bed earlier. I regret not preparing all those past years for another job, the kind of job you do at home, the kind of job you can stay up all night doing without feeling iffy, the kind of job that doesn't require an 8 to 5 shift; my kind of job. At the age of 16, I designed my own website. It was an e-zine sort of thing. I debated issues and threw in theories and other spices of mine. I was an idiot then and still am an idiot now. I still think that I can make a difference and change the world. As if...

I was an HTML wiz by the time I was 20, then I was off to Visual Basic. I aced the class. My computer skills section on my resume shined like a new Ferrari. By the time I was 22, I forgot it all. I was lucky I could still manage MS Word. I should have gone into computer programming.

Maybe I joined my current line of work to learn and have proof, at least for my own benefit, that not having a mug shot doesn't mean that you're clean.

If you're a hitman who works for the mafia and they ask you to kill someone and you refuse to do it…

would that make you a failure?

Only time will tell…

If you ask me, I think you should stop whining about the fact that you hate you job along with everyone else at your workplace and start to pursue your dream carrer. You know for a fact that you have what it takes to make it in the field of computer programming and make it big too! Instead of regretting lost time, why not brush up on your programming skills and in due time, you'll find another that you actually like and will make the most of that brain of yours! I'm not saying that you should quit your job on impulse and expect to end up with an enterprise like that of Bill Gates' overnight. What I'm saying is stop wallowing in self pity and do something about it.

I'm sorry if I'm out of line. I know I don't know you in person but it's such a shame to see someone like yourself get sucked into that corporate bullshit. It's draining your creativity and wearing you down. Your diary should be filled with optimistic thoughts instead of this pessimism.

And by the way, only you decide whether you're a failure or not. Not time, not people but your own self. In today's world, there's a very narrow definition of the term "success" and it would be silly to even try to live up to that definition.

1. I like to remind myself. I use it as some sort of encouragement.

2. I don't hate my co-workers; on the contrary, they're all very good friends of mine. My manager doesn't like me very much though cos everyone else comes to me for advice or info about any aspect of the job. I can't help it man!

3. It's not programming that I'm into actually.

I'm not as pessimistic as people might think :P I think it's the template and my choice of colors that give that impression.

4. Thank you Garfield. ;)

Darn! There goes an utterly good lecture. Sorry if I came on too strong...not sure why I typed half of the things I did or if I should've been looking in a mirror while doing so.

Anyhow, good to know that your life isn't as dramtic as you, or your choice of oh-so-delightful template, put it! May I suggest a template extreme makeover? Think rainbows! Or not..

rainbows?! The next thing you know u'll tell me to place a couple barbie dolls here and there.

Can't help you there pal. :)

About regreting our choices when things don't turn out as planned... I suggest an Istekhara before taking Job interviews. Heard that Istikhara is the best recipe for anti-regret, coz you'd still feel content and happy even when everything TOTALLY screws up... you'd smile :) and say: "OOOOOOH this was due to my istikhaaaaraaaa"... and if things work out you'd feel the same, no difference!
So here you go... the answer to all your questions:
Newspaper ad >>> Istekhara >>> Candidate applies >>> Stressful Interviews >>> Accepted >>>> MABROOK... OR rejected>>> MABROOK bardo!

LOOOOOOL loved the rainbow idea!!! Oh please just one or 2 light colors? Pink? Purple? Pink & Purple? :P

I tend to go for istikhara regarding everything al hamdulellah. I'll try to pray more istakharas though, and I trust insha'a Allah that I'll get clear cut signs.

Thank you :)
but PINK?!!! you gotta be kidding me!! :P

you and I may have alot in common... hope sometime we can talk about them more. Glad I took a look at your blog..... I want to change the world too.

very goth..


Tu S. Tin - So you wanna change the world too huh. Well, make sure you sign the petition and vote me in for world domination.
I don't forget my "friends" ;)

Lirun - It is, isn't it? I wonder why and how did I fail to notice that. Hmm..

i dont think goth is necessarily bad..


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