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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

In 2008, I'll Get Me A Shotgun

I will also:
2. Get closer to
Job hunt some more.
4. Get closer to my
5. Learn a new language.
Finish at least one screenplay.
Lose the extra weight.
8. Get a
driver's license. I will not buy a car.
9. I will
rule my world.
10. I will have my

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Eshebshan Komedya

I don’t read newspapers. I never check the local news. I stopped doing that since the age of 20 when I realized that it’s the same news except that they keep shuffling the related pictures. They post the same articles about Toshka, Jimmy, and Manuel Jose. They throw in about 20 pages for Vodafone, Mobinil, and Etisalat, four pages for obituaries, and two pages about Al Ahly.

I’m a bad reader. I always miss what’s important… but in that case I don’t really feel guilty about anything at all.

Today I grabbed the Akhbar Al Youm paper off the couch to read the front page and… voila. Right there standing out was the new Caricature by Amr “Zeft” Fahmy. I’ll post it down here for your attention.

Then I turned the page to see another caricature by the same Zeft about some horny girl who lost her bathing suit in the middle of the sea and she’s calling out for people. Apparently, they throw in a daily strip starring that girl, Toto. She’s a young horny girl whose husband can’t get it up apparently.

Yes… we read about shit like all the time in foreign teen magazines and they include that kind of comedy in all of their films… but when it comes to the country’s official newspaper… don’t you think it’s just TOO FUCKING MUCH??!!

Oh well… I emailed them a complaint. I’ll just throw it in for the record. (My Arabic sucks. Don’t judge me.)

عزيزتي أخبار اليوم،

صدمت اليوم عندما رأيت الكاريكاتير المنشور على الصفحة الأولى من الجريده. بالأصحّ عندما قرأت كلمة "مزز". سابقا كنت أعتقد أن المشكلة تكمن من الشارع المصري و تدهور مستوى اللغه… ثم تغيّر مفهومي عندما أدركت أن المشكله تكمن في مضمون وساءل الترفيه حيث تحتوي الأفلام المصريه على قدر وفير من اللغة السوقية و الايحاءات الشكليه و النصّية و المناظر و الحوارات الجنسيّة لدرجة تثير عندي الشك في كيان الرقابة على وسائل الاعلام.

أمّا عندما أجد جريدة مثل أخبار اليوم راعية لكلمة "مزز" و على ظهر الصفحة كاريكاتير جنسي مبتزل و فقير المضمون و المعنى لنفس الرسّام للفتاة توتو التي ترمز للكيان الجنسي في المجتمع، فان ذلك يدفعني للتفكير أكثر من مرّة قبل شراء جريدتكم الرسمية.

أشك أن صحائف أوروبا و أمريكا الرسمية تنشر اللغات الدارجة في شوارعها أو تنشر نكات يحتوي مضمونها على ستار جنسي. لديهم مجلات متخصصة لتلك المواضيع.

أثق في رد فعلكم على تصحيح الحال على أمل أن ينهض المجتمع المصري المسكين ثقافيا بدلا من الدعوى الى الانحلال.

و السلام عليكم و رحمة الله….

What the hell is wrong with these people, I wonder?

Friday, June 15, 2007


I have no idea. It named itself. Even the damn MS Office controls me. I wonder where Document1 went.

Where O where did I have it saved? Saved from being exposed to the whole world perhaps? I don’t know. I don’t even remember what was in it. A résumé, cheesecake recipe, Egypt’s 19000 numbers list… I don’t know. I don’t care.

It’s long gone by now. Long past a click on a recycle bin icon.

Some would call this digital irony… whatever.

I’m babbling again.

I wonder if I’d get locked up if I voice blogged in public.

The other day I was talking to some guys about what’s been missing from this country. One said religion, the other said freedom and democracy. Loyalty was what I said.

Loyalty as in loving one’s country the same way our grandfathers did, caring for the next generations that would rein the earth long after we’re gone. Loyalty towards one’s religion, one’s God, one’s family, one’s beliefs. If we had that… we would read real and international news in the local newspaper instead of the same news about Al Ahly and Jimmy and Mobinil and Mobinil and Mobinil. If we had loyalty we wouldn’t have to worry about the lazy government employee sitting behind the desk pretending that he’s doing something of value, we wouldn’t have to worry about private tuitions since all teachers would make sure their students are served well.

We wouldn’t have to worry about favoritism and how a zillion losers with the right connection would get a job that is rightfully ours. We wouldn’t know who’ll be our next president ten years in advance.

The US Aid budget for 2008 equaled USD 1.7 BILLION. Assuming that the only term was that the Egyptian government had to buy 500 Million worth of wheat from America, it leaves us with 1.2 billion dollars right?

I, rightfully, want to know where that money goes. I mean that’s only the US Aid… I’m not going to discuss the other international Aids that we get.

Oh well… I guess it’ll be easy to say that all money unaccounted for has been used on matters of national security. The answer is easy and not so complicated, don’t you think?

And we wonder why we have cyclones and earthquakes.

How pathetic.

Should I just move out and shut the hell up?

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Stake matters

It’s like me with Windows Hearts card game. If I don’t “shoot the moon” on the first round i.e. hit all players with 26s, I quit the game and start another one. It’s like I’m playing against my own luck instead of against a 0s and 1s piece of machinery.

I don’t know whether that makes me a stronger gamer or a quitter and a coward, but I do know that it’s by far more fun to aim higher… even if I get to quit all the cheap stake games.

I do the same with Hoyle’s Poker. I save the game after each win and I reload it after each loss. I hate losing if I’m playing non humans. I could have said computer, but I preferred using the term non humans. It’s not like I’m playing sea turtles here. All in the figure of speech, I guess.

I never play poker, not real poker at least. I once played poker with sugar bags at some coffee place that me and my friends used to hang out at. The floor manager used to join us too after he shuts the door close.

It was fun, betting on something that we didn’t own in the first place.

But when it comes to life, it’s not easy to gamble, to risk. I like givens. I hate decisions. Even though many friends ask me for advice, I still find it real hard to give any to myself. Being neutral about matters helps. Praying estekhara helps.

I always find ways to drag whatever it is that I crossed out right back into the chip pool.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Ironically, I never report to my managers at work. I always do what I think is right, say what I think is right… call the related department, process the forms, do the required maintenance. All they gotta do is SIGN.

I work too much. I should just quit. I heard stories about people who quit… stayed home for two years, unemployed.

Distorted isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind. (Thank you Chuck)

Why do I even bother? :)

Multiplayer games is by far more fun.

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