I feel the need to speak to my blog.
Lately I’ve been considering changing my blog page template; add a brighter complexion perhaps. But then again, I took one look at the page and realized. To me, this is perfection.

A blog is a person’s box of secrets, where the dirtiest, ugliest thoughts come to life.

If you’ve got a page about religion, rationality, and advice… then you should seriously consider doing something more useful with your time like making some meatballs… if you’re a vegetarian. Believe me… people will shuffle off to the next page.
WE want the dirt.
We want human.
Define human.
Naaah… too boring.

To me, blogging is Schizophrenia – Step One.

I haven’t met many bloggers and I’ve always intended to keep my span very, very limited. Anonymity is a remarkable bliss. I don’t usually say the shit I write about. I’m usually the quiet type. I hate small talk. Fuck the weather. I don’t care what you think of my shirt. I don’t care whether you had fun or not.
I dunno why. I just don’t.
But I don’t say it to your face.
I’m too fucking nice.

Small talk is not a talent of mine. Maybe that’s why I was never good at relationships or friendships. I tend to lose my ability to blah. I can’t bullshit people to their face. I need Relationships for Dummies badly.

I wasn’t always that cold. Back in school I once talked to a friend of mine about my “symbolic barriers”. We used to be close back in the day. Now we don’t talk at all.

Why can’t I just let people in? When will I be able to bury my big ass Not Welcomed sign?

Why is it that every time I get too close to someone, I just run off? I am very, very picky about the people I hang out with and about the things I say. Is that why I’m easily bored? Is it why I’m usually quiet? I have nothing to hide. I never killed anyone, raped anyone. I’m totally straight. Still… I torment myself with guilt from the past.

I work as a Personal Financial Services Rep. at some bank. I have it engraved on my business card. See that? Personal. What a joke!

My clients absolutely love me. Is it the banker’s mask that I wear that makes small talk easy for me then? How about right here? Has the Raven taken hold? If I was able to clone myself, would I do it?

If you could would you clone yourself?

Funny… sometimes I even bore myself. I prefer sitting still and watch others make mistakes.

Am I so in love with myself that I find relief in talking to myself through a blog page?

Adios you egoistic maniac. I will see you later.