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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

In 2008, I'll Get Me A Shotgun

I will also:
2. Get closer to
Job hunt some more.
4. Get closer to my
5. Learn a new language.
Finish at least one screenplay.
Lose the extra weight.
8. Get a
driver's license. I will not buy a car.
9. I will
rule my world.
10. I will have my

« Home | The Randomness Within... Volume 1ne » | Two hours and 1500 miles » | The wait is over » | States of Being » | Grotesque » | My unsaid words » | As up as it gets » | Comme ci, comme ça » | Every night’s last cigarette » | Claustrophobic shelling »


They say that fear is only the emotional response to tangible and realistic nature. But then again, why do we fear the future? Why do we fear the unseen? Why do we need everything to be around us, in our scope of vision, to be careful? Tangibility is wrongly defined, wrongly expressed, I think.
The way we perceive time… We are in fact always late, aren’t we? And it’s only when we’ve missed out on things that we realize that we’re aging. Everything has a price to pay, even wisdom.
Perception, on the other hand… now that’s something else. The eyes see the things they want to see. You can’t control them. You can’t tame them; no matter how powerful your sight is and no matter how expensive your Armani glasses are. At the end, sight is the result of the reflection of light off objects that convert to brain waves; and like the waves of the sea that you adore, you’ve short fused my brain completely.

Like spite, waiting is timeless.
I keep needing to click a magic button or fall into a yoga trance that transfers me a couple of weeks ahead, a couple of months ahead… a year ahead exactly. I don’t wanna see how it’ll be. I just want to be there. I keep telling myself that there’s the sweet waiting, the missing… but it’s not doing it for me anymore. I-DON’T-WANT-IT.
I would rather throw my watch and calendar from the window and sleep for a year. Wake me up on our wedding day, my darling. Wake me up when I’m allowed to hold you and to want you.
I hate waiting up in the morning and checking an inbox for an email. I hate seeing you as a number and no being able to see your smile when I ring you up. I hate missing your face. I hate not being able to make that date happen. I hate being that far… I hate not being rich enough to fly over to you every day to take you out.

I hate how unshrinkable you are.

I hate how I can’t just promise your folks that I will take care of you w khalas. Done deal!
I hate how shy I am in public; how I can’t just jump on stage at a play, grab the mic, and tell the audience that I love you.
You know me… I’m shy at sea, a bad swimmer. Leave me in the middle of the open water and I would probably panic and drown. My mind refuses to float, to relax my muscles and let loose. I want it to be over.
How dare you all ask me to wait?
How fucking dare you?!

I don’t want to wait. I don’t wanna get to know you better. I don’t wanna go through all the formalities. If it was up to me, I would marry you today… This is the ME that you’ve created.
But it’s not up to me

I am indeed… impatient.
Why can’t I just shrink you? Why am I not allowed to be that selfish?

Why are you doing this to me?

I loved this post. Anyways, all your posts I like. Very deep.

Oh Raven,

It's beautiful to be so intensly in Love... the wait is truly torturous to have your Lover in your arms...

But dear, savour every day, you have your whole lives ahead of you & in pressing fast forward to all the little agonizing details one has to go through to unite with his "One" - you might look back & feel sorry for all that you've let pass you by...

& I know that as you said wisdom also has a price, one of those tolls we pay is looking back & saying "I miss the days when you & I were dating, or chatting... care-free with nothing on our minds & no responsibilities except to Love each other"


Good luck friend...

Thanks Posh. It's good to have you here as always. ;)

So true. I am savoring it all. Believe me.

Thank you.

i love your recent posts every single one of them i was just unable to post comments from the office but im around. Im so very happy life is kind to you. Somehow i always knew good things await you. Enjoy the richness of life

Great Blog ... By all means, your recent posts were great to read.
Time and waiting can be tricky, but i think you already know that. and as jade says, savor it all now and don't rush into the complicated future ... let it catch you instead so you won't look back later and think "god i got this all upon myself" ... don't mean to be a pessimist :)

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