اللهم اهدنا في من هديت

And so I'm back… and I'm speechless.

Of all the things that I'd like to say and write and blog about… my favorite words are الحمدلله

I left the other me there and I pray that he never returns.

I should have packed my computer along. Every night before I went to sleep, I lied on my back and remembered the day that had just flew and wished that I could document it, have it marked as one of the things that were there… always there… but was so taken for granted.

Al Donya ain't really what I thought it was about. La ilaha illa Allah

I don't even know where to start. What I want to say would probably tell about the crowds on the street walking towards Al Masjid Al Haram, performing tawaf around Al Kaaba. How nothingful I felt when I laid my eyes on them from the roof level of Al Masjid Al Haram.
I really am not special. We really, really are all dots.
We do things that Allah prohibited and sometimes we don't do the things he asked of us.
Those crowds… those millions… made me feel the least special of them all.

يا سبحان الله

The words that I want to say would tell about me sitting there and seeing two women from some African country talk in some weird language and as they reach the concrete fence on the roof of the Masjid Al Haram… their eyes get filled with something wet, holding that look like their hearts just melted; they smile, and say… La ilaha illa Allah.

The Ka'aba, and the million people around it… and Allah seven skies above it on His throne.
The thousand Turks performing Hajj and Oumra, the Australians, Malaysians, etc.

I was born a Muslim. Arabic is my native tongue.
What have I done to deserve all of this?!
الحمدلله رب العالمين

اللهم إني ظلمت نفسي فإن لم تغفرلي وترحمني لأكون من الخاسرين