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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

In 2008, I'll Get Me A Shotgun

I will also:
2. Get closer to
Job hunt some more.
4. Get closer to my
5. Learn a new language.
Finish at least one screenplay.
Lose the extra weight.
8. Get a
driver's license. I will not buy a car.
9. I will
rule my world.
10. I will have my

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I don't get it!!

I really don't. No matter how hard I try to get Egypt, I just find it hard to understand. When I was younger, I always thought that the Pythagoras theorem was the most difficult thing to get, but Egypt goes beyond that. A question mark wouldn't increase the odds of getting answers. An exclamation point wouldn't outcry the issue's impossibility. All the punctuations would stand in awe, I reckon.

Egypt is basically prodigally and rhetorically confusing.

I don't get the fact that they made a media outrage when Ibrahim Eissa, editor-in-chief of Al Dostour tabloid, was arrested for defaming the president. I don't get the fact that he threw accusations right and left without any evidence to support his theories. I don't get the fact that he's managed to get away with it that far.

I don't get the fact that he was sentenced to a one-year jail term and I don't get the fact that the sentence was reduced to a cheap $3,950 fine only.

That's less than the minimum annual income in the United States.

I don't get the fact that taxi drivers seem to know more about religion than Sheikhs and more about soccer than foreign coaches who get paid more than Supreme Court judges.

I don't get the fact that all the candidates for the government elections sucked big time and were all either too old to talk for themselves or too corrupt to lie about it.

I don't get the fact that the Muslim Brotherhood party in Egypt have 64 seats in the People Assembly and get to state that they don't support the idea of forming parties based on religion. I don't get that they never clearly do anything that would support the religion that they so boldly bear on their business cards.

I don't get the fact that peaceful demonstrations (Al mozaharat al selmeyya) is against the law in Egypt, that's where people sit down like hippies from the sixties and light candles in silence. I don't get the fact that the gathering of eight or more people is also against the law and could get them arrested for conspiring against the government.

I don't get the fact that we still depend on dead Pharaohs as a major source of income. I don't get the fact that we get a grant of over $50 million just to take care of our ancient ruins and still they look like they're falling apart.

I don't get the fact that in every dictionary I check, the last noticeable item they mentioned about Egypt is related to King Farouk's overthrowing in 1952.

I don't get the fact that we still think we're the center of the world.

I don't get the fact that McDonalds's apple-pie almost has no apple in it and Cook Door's apple-pie contains too much apple.

I… just don't get any of it.

I refuse to.

I'll just keep quietly observing in hope that I won't go crazy, until I taste a decent apple-pie.

I'm glad someone agrees that the Muslim Brotherhood are useless and that they only care about pushing through their own selfish personal agendas.

I hate how - indeed - people rave on about the country's rich history and how we once ruled the world but no one seems to mention anything about a promising future.

I hate how people parrot the phrase "Masr omm el donia", when we're clearly not!

I hate sexual harrasment in Egypt. I feel so damn vulnerable. Why can't men look at women as their sisters not as a sex object?

I hate... No wait... I DESPISE when your average Egyptian whose first language is surprisingly Arabic is looked down upon by the skum bags in our society when he/she can't speak a word of English or pronounces a word wrong.

I hate how people here choose to speak English when they obviously can't. They weren't raised in a multicultural society so it's definitely not a force of habit so why insist on doing so? Apparently, it's makes them "cool". Whatever that means.

I hate how Valetine's day is celebrated TWICE in Egypt! Isn't it bad enough to experience it once let alone two bloody times! I get it... It's cool to have a boyfriend. Move on!

I hate how people think of relationships as a trend and not as a serious matter.

I hate how Egyptians curse everything that is the United States and yet the second they're granted a green card, they immigrate to "the land of the free, home of the brave" without a second's worth of hesitation.

I hate how Egyptians blame the Jews for everything. For crying out loud, the Tsunami wasn't caused by Israel!

I hate how shallow and materialistic people are here.

I hate that I can't feel safe in my own country.

I hate that no one understands how incredibly amazing it would be to backpack countries such as India, Kenya, Sierra Leone, Malaysia to discover cultures and converse with the locals there. I HATE the classic response that I get... "What the hell are you going to do in India?!"

I hate that the only person who truly gets me is Indian!

I hate it when someone complains about how Egyptians break the virtually non existing traffic regulations here in Egypt and then go ahead and break it themselves.

I hate how people think of religion as a yet another trend.

I hate that hookers here wear the veil to "disguise" themselves. It is SUCH an insult to veiled women!

Ugh, I hate alot of things. Depressing post I'm sure but I truly enjoyed reading yours, Ragin Raven!

Man!! You should start a blog page of your own. We hate the same things.. except for the fact that no Indian gets me still. :P

I didn't intend for this post to be a depressing one, but..well, I guess I've written one too many depressing posts that now I could even depress Santa Clause if he ever checked in.

PS There's this traffic somewhere on Al Khalifa Al Maamoun St where cars stop when it's green and drive when it's red. It's been like that for the past two years or so.

I think I recognise that traffic light. Is it the one opposite the petrol station? (I think a Mobil station). For some reason I remembered the "Opposite Day" episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy. On that day, common sense and knowledge were to be reversed. If you were happy, you cried. If you were full, you ate more. If you see a red light... YOU DRIVE FULL SPEED AHEAD!

Funny, the only way to compare Egypt is to a cartoon. How ironically true.

And I didn't mean at all that your post was depressing. On the contrary! It was refreshing to find someone else residing in Egypt who actually thinks the way you do. I was, in fact, referring to my post as depressing. But no matter how hard I try to spin my post in the most depressing way possible... I could never come close to the depressive brink-of-suicide things you post. You win, hands down, this year's depressive blog award. *clap clap clap*

Well, at least I won something. :)

I didn't think that was very depressing.. I enjoyed it. I am not sure if that makes me more depressing than you.. and therefore you have become a breath of fresh air.. or if I have a twisted sense of enjoyment..
Anyway, have not found the perfect apple pie yet.. but I do know where you can find great cheesecake and oreo madness.. if that helps I mean.
Oh yeah, don't get the apple pie from On the Run. (Yes, i did try buying apple pie from a gas station...bad decision)

I can make my own cheese cake btw. YESSS. A guy who knows how his way in the kitchen.

Well, I can't make spaghetti, chicken, rice, or noodles.. but I can make cheese cake easy. Once a year, in Ramadan, we make a "dish party" to have our iftar and all... and they literally kill for my cheese cake. It's been like that for the past three years.

I didn't even know On-the-Run had apple pies. Are you sure it was an apple pie?

Well... it had something resembling apples.. it was shaped like a pie. But I guess that is where the similarities end. It was the worst gas station apple pie I have had in my life! ;o)
I cannot make chicken... I can make rice, well sometimes I can. Other times it all goes wrong.
I can make hte "just add hot water" kind of noodles.. but I think that does not count as cooking. I once burnt soup.. I am a masterful fuck up in the kitchen!
Well, making cheesecake is impressive... I love cheesecake with a passion! Wanna get married? ;o) Or at least invite me to a dish party in Ramadan?

My cheesecake is easy. It doesn't require any oven cooking, unlike most cheesecake recipes out there.

To me, gas stations have always been a 24/7 source of cigarettes, imported chewing gum, and an ATM machine.

and sure.. you've earned yourself an invitation.

Hmmm... I am just thinking how I can mess that up... I am sure I can, but cool! Life is better when someone else is cooking.
Gas stations are so much more my friend! In California at times I could go grocery shopping there... milk, bread, eggs, coffee, damn! it had all!!
Now I just make my morning run to grab anything that will make me less bitter in the meeting in the morning!
So.. cheesecake next ramadan.. we're on!

I did it! I found the best apple pie here in Egypt! Actually, it found me. A student made it... and damn it was good!
Ahhh, the perks of the job!!

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