Rule #1: Set a reasonable target.
At work, I set my own targets. I don’t care what my superiors think. I do what I say and I accomplish what I pursue. Off site, however… well, let’s just say that some things aren’t really that easy to measure against an invisible benchmark.

I usually keep my word on things that matter to others. I’m a person who prefers to do a nice thing rather than pay a useless compliment. I don’t believe in words. Vowels do not make a difference. I never compliment. Surprisingly, I realized that I prefer apologizes over thank yous. Maybe that’s why I was never successful at relationships. I never said ‘I love you’; and it wasn’t because I’m a player or anything. I’d like to think that it’s because I never wanted to cross the line between getting to know one another until an official proposal and the otherwise. But then again a little voice inside my head keeps telling me that I never said it because I was too afraid of what’ll happen next. I’ve always been fine by myself. Why change it?

I know that now I know why… but still. I am fine. A detail Nazi correlated within his own existence.

Honesty is one of my ugly habits.

I promised myself to complete my first screenplay by April 2007. I’m not even halfway there. I go into too many details until I completely lose it. I promised myself to learn how to forget, but the stack has piled up real high that I can’t see past it anymore. How can you live with a blank memory? It isn’t exactly a computer memory that you can actually reboot and start over. The ability to regenerate; reincarnation…

Some philosopher once woke out of a dream and wondered whether he was actually dreaming of being a butterfly or whether he is actually the butterfly now asleep, dreaming of being a man. That’s cheap blow talking if you ask me.

All things being highlighted in shiny yellow marker, I lost the ability to trust myself.
Yes. I do have trust issues. I make and let go of friends ‘round the clock. Discarding people is easy. It’s like seeking unsaid revenge against those who have left me melting behind.
Hush, hush. The clock is ticking and the people I’ve slain along the way are left guessing.

Am I a guilt addict? Do I actually enjoy soaking in this very long session of self definition?

A person’s darkest hour resembles the time spent with someone with the wrong intention. ‘What’s in it for me?’ is the right universal question, O Prince of Denmark.

From the words of an ex-prisoner who spent half his stretch in solitary confinement. ‘Better spend eternity in the hole with my demons than spend ten years with a cell mate whose sole passion is to rape me blind’.

Got good news however. This should be the second last stage of my complete recovery.
I shalt bore thee no more.

Why do we pull out old weed only to free space in order to grow new ones? Aren’t we all a bunch of ugly habits disguised in flesh and bones?

The truth is sometimes it feels like walking under water. Everything’s got a cold shade of blue and all voices are dubbed to fit an audience that doesn’t give a damn. I am more and more losing interest in what others have to say.
It’s very quiet down here; just me and my voices roaming around as free urchins of the blue.

My problem is that I expect too much out of my surroundings. Being a perfectionist urges a person to look into details and flaws. You face them proudly and change them if the price tag reads ‘Reasonable’.

I won’t blame you, ruler of my Oblivia. A man shouldn’t search for blame for what he grows in his own backyard.
I’ll embrace them, my skeletons, in hope that when my time is due they will leave me.

What do I want? All I want is a big wave to swift me out of the open water and teach how to surf against all odds.
I dread what lurks underneath. I am certain, however, that I will be standing when the wind blows my prince’s tunes.

Shackle me up, old mate, for I am the cell that blocks you out from the rest of the world.

The hat’s over the wall now and I’m rolling down my windshield.
All-in
Bring it on.