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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

In 2008, I'll Get Me A Shotgun

I will also:
2. Get closer to
Job hunt some more.
4. Get closer to my
5. Learn a new language.
Finish at least one screenplay.
Lose the extra weight.
8. Get a
driver's license. I will not buy a car.
9. I will
rule my world.
10. I will have my

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The reincarnation of Holden Caulfield

And then it shape shifted into a long tunnel; circular, curvy walls so you wouldn’t have a corner to crawl to when your feet need to rest. Clear cut sign that it’s now or never.

The voices slid across the walls of my dry throat, touching them, pinching them on the way out, just to make sure that I am aware of how those voices would sound like, to make sure that I’m aware of the things they’d say.

These voices… they always think that they exist for my own good. But they don't really see me. I felt like a baby in a Lamaze class. Breathe in, breathe out.

The many things they said hurt me.
They don't know me.
They don't know me at all.

They try to morph me into a cruel color, one that they’d like to wear.

I fear the finger they’d give me if only I was blind; while my lips are sealed into a hole that whistles a tune that deafens my ears so I wouldn’t hear them scream my name.

I don’t fucking care’, whispered my unquenchable being.

Now glisten, O dry soul. I’ll just ignore the voices as they speak and try to mimic the dark impressions of things that attract AA members and embrace remorse of all kinds. I have learned a lesson of grave value. I’ve always been a good student, except for my inability to concentrate. I disregard them all. Nothing really matters at all except for their lips touching the words right before they leave their mind. I bring my ears to my attention and pray for raw iron that I can keep and shape into my own magnet to wear as a mask that repels away all things that breathe.

Why start now? I still don’t care. I’ve always been a survivor no matter how many footsteps they mark on my existence.

I’ll kill all colors but black and white. I’ll be color blind so they won’t be able to wear me as their favorite color.

I’ll shut up now. Words won’t add value to your obnoxiousness for they’re merely a string of spikes teasing me to stab my voodoo doll even more. If I can’t kill you, then I’ll learn to ignore you, pretend you’re not even there as I step on your shadow as I walk the distance to a place where you can’t get to.

I am what I am you spineless shit… and you are just a contingency plan.

Now sod off and die, you fucking cunt.

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