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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

In 2008, I'll Get Me A Shotgun

I will also:
2. Get closer to
Job hunt some more.
4. Get closer to my
5. Learn a new language.
Finish at least one screenplay.
Lose the extra weight.
8. Get a
driver's license. I will not buy a car.
9. I will
rule my world.
10. I will have my

« Home | Perfect Life » | » | One Sick Day » | Jan 16 » | The Ledge of Reason » | The Cable Guy » | Spoils of War » | Massively Short Intrusion » | The Winter in my Living Room » | Milestone »

It was also shaped like the moon

x 2 + y2 = r2
The definition of the word circle is a series ending where it began, esp. when perpetually repeated; cycle: the circle of the year.

And guess who the Circle of the Year award goes to?

Another engagement party… my cousin’s. I didn’t want to go. I hate weddings and I hate engagement parties (no, I don’t hate everything). I keep disapproving things in my head. I keep telling myself if this was my engagement, I would do this… and I would not do that.
I also keep forgetting that this is not my engagement party. That my mind should shut up and stop judging.

Why judge when you’re not even sure who you are or what you’re like?

I walked into the hall and realized that my towel was already on the floor. This… is a lost cause, I thought. My uncles and aunts kept asking me to pick one of the girl’s friends to be my future Mrs. Raven. Is it really that simple? What if I don’t like any of them? Do I still have to choose?
Do I have to compromise in order to grow into a man? What if I don’t want to?
What if I want to, only I’m that selfish?
Do you think I’m evil?

I threw my half smile into the ring of people sitting around me. They exchanging small talk about banking specifically designed to please my surviving ego. Their attempts to break my silence only made me more arrogant and subtle.

Why do people find it tempting to revaluate their lives at wedding and engagement parties?

Someone told me once that its only wise to change, develop the way you think, your perspectives and points of view once every year. Reprioritize, revaluate, re-approximate…
Re-do yourself… Adapt to the changing world.
Find an empty crack in the system and pour your molten self into it.

Fit… can be the right word.

But what if you keep doing that, only to find yourself, ten years later, back to your original state of mind? Like your ten years younger reflection has revolved around a bigger sun and returned a decade later with only bitterness and spite.
What if your “development” lifted you back to where it all began, your square one, your primary ideology?
What if all the questions you’ve answered and buried came back to haunt you?

Whether you should major in Business or Accounting?
Whether you should study acting or directing?
This twin or that one? Ketchup or mustard? Egypt or Canada?
Short skirts or 7ijab?
Whether you want to get promoted or quit?
Masr walla Zambia?
To be or fucking not?

What if you were right from the very beginning?

A circle is also defined as the ring of a circus

A perfect one, sketched with my bare mind; like I was born to be an engineer.

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