Every night’s last cigarette
He carefully listened to the ticking of time and prayed to God for life to freeze. He wished for life to be one of those pictures that brought him reason to wish more and more he was a digital camera so he could capture her in his heart. If only he could be the water rushing down her throat to feel the heart that so deserves… so deserves. He willfully ignored his stubborn instincts and prayed for once that he would be right. Deep down, he knew that their connection wasn’t based on wires and a satellite signal. Deep down he knew there was a lot more to it, like two souls lingering in the dark searching for a hand that brings them hope and makes them feel found. He could only pray for the pictures to evanesce through his lens into a beam of light that makes it all real. He could only wait for a miracle to reverse her digital presence into his life and through his walls so he could see her… so he could tell her… He wanted to tell her that nothing else matters… that he would gladly grab a sledgehammer and break down his high and mighty walls to let her in. ‘Are you as real as my heart feels?’, he asked, fearing the answer that would forever change his life.
The question of ‘Could simplicity finally exist?’ ceased dwelling in his head as he said another prayer for that moment to stay. The bare need for something simple to happen has drained his soul dry.
He held the burning stub between his fingers and watched the smoke vanish as there was nothing else left to burn. He knew it was time to let go, but he couldn’t.
He knew that by the time the smoke went down, that beauty would end as he’d shut his body away from the voice that changed his tone and played perfect tunes, tunes that he never knew existed. The truth is that he would set the world on fire if there was a slight chance that in doing so she’d stay, that in doing so the smoke would twist an eternal smile…
but he couldn’t.
He wanted to touch her hand and tell her ‘I do exist, my love’.
Beautiful!
Good luck...
Posted by Nora | 3/04/2008 08:22:00 PM